*image by Ben Harubin

 

The ordinary mind is designed to be troubled.
Stilled waters are useless seas, and the only
systems at rest are undertakers on strike.

 

A Cautionary Tale

During the past peace time of the Kingdoleum Empire there arose a certain military scholar. He carefully studied the written and oral histories of all the world's great battles, their generals and their tactics. His subsequent writings and explanations of warfare raised his fame therein to an unprecedented height, and the whole empire recognized him as its greatest military theoretician.

The day came that the Northern Mongols declared war on the Empire, and the emperor immediately placed thepeople's defense in the hands of the military scholar. A great army was raised, and the scholar, along with all his notes and knowledge, led the forces across the Dion Plains to confront the unruly Mongols. Once over the Plains, the scholar rode up to the crest of the first mountain in the early morning hours to await the coming onslaught. The first rays of morning light found him astride his trusty steed, his notes and battle plans in hand, looking toward the opposing ridge where over the Mongols were soon expected to charge.

Suddenly, far in the distance, a rumbling sound was heard; dust began to rise over the opposing ridge, and as the mighty Mongol hordes began to crest the ridge, the scholar's fine reputation was forever lost as he was heard to scream, "Ga-ad- damn, where the fuck did all those guys come from?"