*image by Ben Harubin

The phone rang.
He answered it, "Hello?"
The voice asked, "Is that you?"
He cried out, "Oh my god -- its' me on the line!"
("Hello?" inquired the voice...)

Every day a man watched a certain train whiz by -- in fact many times a day.
Then one day he tried to catch it, only to discover that it didn't exist.
"How could I have been so stupid?" he thought, then realized better than to
answer that question lest his stupidity be increased. Woo woo!

The speaker so speaked: "Some say that having emotions is proof that you are
human, but I say it is proof of something else."
And someone in the crowd called out, "Would you care to tell us what that is?"
"I see no benefit in offering a potential cause for you people to feel bad."
And most of the crowd then began to semi-audibly huff, grunt, and puff, and
shuffle around irritably where they stood, yet none insisted that the speaker
actually be more verbally specific in what he meant.

The passing ship said to the fog horn buoy,
"No need to be so noisy, I know where I am."
"You're about to sink!" replied the buoy.
"I knew that," said the ship. "I told you that I knew where I was -- that's
right, I'm sinking, but I knew that."
(And the bobbing warning system suddenly realized how much the ship
resembled a man.)

To begin to understand the nature of thought,
you must start by understanding what it is not.

 

A passenger asked the passing conductor, "Does it cost any more to ride this train?"
And the uniformed one replied, "You mean as opposed to not riding it?"
And the passenger said, "You mean that's a possibility?"
And the ticket taker answered, "You're not from around here, are you?"
And the passenger said, "No -- how can you tell?"
And the conductor responded, "Because we're not where you think we are."
And the passenger leaned back in his seat -- now content with the price of the journey.

Many years later, when he repeated this story to his grandson, the lad asked
him what it meant.
"Oh, nothing," he replied, "and perhaps even less."
(Kids nowadays! -- nothing but think, think, think!)