*image by Ben Harubin

Planning and running,
running and planning,
planning and planning,
running and running.
...Did I leave anyone out?

The instructor called 'em all right up to the edge and said,
"There're two ways to jump off a building: abruptly, and gradually.
Which way do you people prefer?"
And someone asked, "If they are both indeed possible, which one is best?"
And the instructor replied, "What kinda dumb-ass question is that? If you
go off the top of a building, you're off it, whether we call it gradually,
abruptly, or cinnamon toast with jam. Damn! Where do all these lard heads
come from? ...And what are they doin' up this high anyway?"

One man tried so hard -- and I mean SO HARD -- to tie his bow tie
that he strangled himself.
(What 'chu reckon we're really talkin' about here? --
you know it ain't haberdashery.)

A geographically clad man so mused, "My ability to be clearly alert is the
Suez Canal, and my instincts and thoughts are the Mediterranean and Red Seas."
"Help!" cried a voice, "I can't breathe down here in this position."
...Just like men -- simply won't do what would clearly cure the problem.

The two figures were poised at the starting line; the gun went off,
signaling the race to begin; one of the figures seemed to take off immediately,
while the other appeared to pause while considering something.

Note:
The two figures mentioned were in fact one man.
Go figure.

 

"Listen! -- they're calling me."
"Who?"
"Just listen -- they're always calling me."
"Who?"
"Just listen -- they're always calling, and
just think! -- I always listen."
"Oh...(now I know 'who'.)"