*image by Ben Harubin

 

How To Lose Weight In The Land Of Plenty
...In Fact In The Land Of Too MUCH Plenty
(When You Know You've Had More Than Enough Where others eat -- don't!)

"Starve an ill -- feel an idiot,"
if you wish to remain in the land of nod.

One man renamed all of his fears
Excitement, Incorporated
(and immediately went on vacation, permanently).

One guy says that still another advantage to having plastic flowers in your yard
is that you can piss on them with impunity.
...(Guess pretty much the same as with the mind and ordinary thoughts.)

One man changed his pen name to
"I Don't Have The Least Idea What I'm Talking About,
But Boy Don't It Sound Impressive!"
...(Which so fascinated even him that he went out and bought his next book.)

A boy asked his father, "Does impatience come from the body or the mind?"
But the elder refused to answer, he said, until the lad "calmed down."

A man asked his back yard, "Well, if everything is all right, then why do men live in the land of
'Not All Right'?"
And the answer it gave went right by him (over his head, so to speak).

A boy said to his father, "Tell me again how when we talk that you are only responsible for what you say, and that I am responsible for what I hear."
And the elder began whistling and calling out, "Here, Rover -- here, boy!"