*image by Ben Harubin

 

"Wake up, little Susie, wake up."
"My name's not Susie, but I 'preciate the thought."

A mad dog in a locked room can't hurt you unless you hold out your hand
And invite him to bite you, and then declare, "Well the damn thing bit me!"

In one universe, there is this "thing" that you can open which, once you have,
you will forever after that...uh...well...it's really too disgusting to go into.

One man fished in a particular pond until (multiple choice again) – until he:

A. He caught all the fish therein.
B. He got tired of fishing.
C. He finally realized there were no fish there.
D. He experienced all the above simultaneously one day,
exploded! -- blew away! -- disappeared and took the damn pond with him.

At recent intergalactic psychological conference, the lead paper of the
confab was one entitled: "What's Wrong With You, Idiot? -- Fish Are An Illusion!"
...(Next week the accountants are in town. Whoo-pee.)

And speaking of pee:
Did you hear the one about the man who went around encouraging everyone
to undertake a critical examination of themselves -- a process he called "your-analysis."
"Yes, yes, that's all well and good, but I am still without an answer and your attempts
at humor shall not distract me from this fact."
And that you just said, Dear Munchkin, contains therein a fully expositional response
to your own question. (What could be more serious than a locked room.)

There is one planet in this universe, if on which you live,
Complete strangers may enter your place of dwelling -- anytime they want to!
And just totally track the place up with their dirty and dusty shoes.

Now, your part in this news item is for you to figure out what "where you live"
actually refers to, and then to get those people the hell outta there. It's your place,
or Chrissake!

...Well, it was originally, and there are no grandfather exemptions to one
recovering from prior stupidities.