*image by Ben Harubin

Early on I had an acquaintance,
who I ate and swallowed;
I took him for a friend,
but now I wish I could dislodge him and spit him out.
...Nothing personal -- I just wish I could spit him out.

The Reformation Of The Mind Covered Fully In Eight Or Nine Words:
How can you teach a deaf dog tricks.

Over on the planet of Nod, one creature was struck by a strange affliction, which caused him to periodically wake from his normal, peaceful slumber state and experience moments of undirected alertness, which he found ultimately irritating.
Then, since he couldn't seem to cure it, he attempted to treat the anomalous condition by trying to direct the unexpected moments of alertness in some useful manner. But success was not to so easily be the case, and what he seemed to be saddled with was simply a continuing series of unpredictable passing moments of unnatural, unnecessary alertness. So! -- he just "learned to live with it!"
...(After all, it could've been worse...he could've had the hives.)

A boy once asked his father, "If I keep scratchin' this thing, will I ever grow up?"
"Huh," replied the elder, "that's the only way TO!"
(Perhaps I should make note that this is not your run-a-da-mill family, but then
again if you're so run-a-da-mill dat you needed to hear that, you're too run-a-da-mill
to ever realize what this is all about anyhoo. Huh?)

And with posthaste -- and postage due -- a friend responds,:
"There is no need for you to be so, shall I say, insulting" -- yes, as a matter of fact,
you can say that -- "so insulting to us readers. If I didn't understand what you're talking about, I wouldn't be reading your News, now would I?"
Sir, try on this:
You read your own mind, don't you?
...(And damn'f he didn't refuse to answer that one.)