*image by Ben Harubin

One man's personal motto is:
"I may well be an idiot -- but at least I've forgotten about it!"

One man found himself surrounded by people who were always asking themselves
and each other, "Can worrisome thoughts make you physically ill?"
Day after day! Week after week, hour after hour, minute by minute,
they kep' a'askin', "Can worrisome thoughts make you physically ill?"
Until, by God, he had enough of it! (By God!)...
...Well...no need to keep hangin' 'round,
that's the end of the story.

...Wait -- hold up a sec --
you don't look so good...

Anytime you feel tempted to write your biography,
or to tell what you may or may not do, remember this:
Life thinks just as highly of everyone else as it does you.

One man said, "I'm one-of-a-kind."
And the next man said, "We're all one-of-a-kind."
And the man after him said,
"We're all none-of-a-kind, save he not talking -- who turns out to be life itself."

You can think highly of yourself, or you can think lowly of yourself,
but if you think of yourself, you're a fool, and half of what a man could be.

...And one man's biceps suddenly said, "May I be allowed to say something
about all this?" That won't be necessary, old chum, I think they've got it.

There was once this really big guy that the smaller guys started calling God, (but which wasn't his real name), and it turns out that they didn't do this based on his size alone. They also labeled him God because of the fact that he'd at one time swallowed all of them and they'd become lodged in his brain.
Hey -- how else could you think about a situation like that, or what else call a cat like that?

Legend tells of a race of creatures once present on Earth who undertook to swallow themselves -- more completely, I should add -- having realized that they already had themselves in their mouths, and after giving it the best gulp then possible, had become lodged in their own minds, and now wished to push on past the point whereat God got stuck.

And all the children sang,
"Everybody's stuck,
everybody's stuck,
there ain't no way to move life outta town."
...(Thank you, children.)