If you don’t recognize the harmless insanity of what ordinary men think of as their rational life  --  you’re insane.
   (“What you actually mean is: you’re one of them [a normal person].”
Okay.)
 

If you want to keep what you have you won’t say what you like or don’t like.
A man can lose all he has by mere mouth.
    (“By self reference, you mean?!”
Just so.)
 

You always have to talk people into stuff that’s meaningless.
    (“I am my only advertiser AND customer.”)
 

One way to make friends and cause others to admire you is (even if you’re not sick)
to convince them that you're gravely ill and probably dying.  (They will really appreciate it).
 

After realizing that record companies, when they reissue old recordings and do not want to spend the money needed to digitally clean-them-up and make them sound more contemporary,  will simply announce on the packaging that
due to the great artistic significance of these particular recordings they were left in their original form even though they be noisy and hard to hear in spots,
to preserve their integrity, this one guy thought:
“I can take the same position concerning my old ideas.”
 

To be human is to feel certain that something is wrong, and one way to check if you’re up to standards is if, when you put on a sweater in the dark, you do not believe you have a fifty/fifty chance of putting it on with the front side in front.
 

An ill man wondered: “Would I feel exactly like this if there were no word, health?”
 

The television producer noted to a colleague: “You can’t have a successful reality show if the audience does not care about those involved,” and the associate instantly realized the applicability of this to what goes on in a normal brain.
 

To be human is to feel certain that something is wrong;
the certain-man struggles not to be so human (and calls it awakening, enlightenment,
scottiflamers, and so on).

In normal brains there are a maximum number of synapses that can work on any given subject at any given instant;
the certain-man’s are not so restricted.
 

Arising in his own parliament, one man bellowed:
“Are we to allow the socialists to single handedly derail our plans for progress!?”
There is always one dimension more than you can see.
 

Whenever on the news he would hear the police announce a drug seizure,
one guy always immediately assumed they were referring to an incident in his brain.
 

One man’s conviction is that those who say they have trouble sleeping
are just putting everyone on.
 

One man believes he is destined for great things,
(he also thinks that financial planners are in the business of making you money.
    “Why is wealth so tied up with consciousness?….................oh  --  I get it  –  it’s not.”)
 

Everyone is scheduled for a fatal accident,
but you are not required to mentally participate therein beforehand.
 

In the city, the difference in cost between being a dunderhead & just being average
is not enough to be concerned over.
 

Those involved in something ridiculous (oh, for instance let us use: men’s legislative bodies) must speak at least as often of their intricate operating procedures as they do the essence of the bills passed or rejected there.
Since santa’s toys do not exist, his tours consist primarily of him telling the travails of being father xmas.
He who forgets even for a moment that the imaginary will defend itself just as forcefully as any physical creature, has much to fear from their own mind.
 

“I may be a pinhead  –  but I’m MY pinhead!”          (The last of the great free agents.)
 

At odd moments one guy will suddenly pretend he is in a science fiction movie
(this in addition to the real one he’s in).
 

“Having faith-in-god is having trust in your own consciousness.”
    “So why don’t people simply see it like that?!”
“Answer that and you’ve answered everything.”
 

The world of acts runs on needs; the world of facts runs on wants  –
and must be kept wanting.
 

Consider: On who, what does Life itself rely?
 

Things in 3-D land can be described but not noted;
things that exceed a 3-D view can be noted but not described.
 

Nothing can be understood outside the context of the future.
 

One thing one man has yet to figure out is:
“Why can everyone successfully pretend to be someone else,
but then can’t pretend to be their self?”
 

On one world, for fatal ills for which it had no cure, medicine came up with so-called treatments therefor which were so disgusting that those dying who submitted to same were so distracted thereby that they would not think about the fact they were expiring.
    (“Hey –  didn’t we go over a story similar to this recently and I figured out that
       you weren’t actually talking about physical ills and the medical profession?!”)
 

One spiritual master personally pronounced the better part of an hour to be:
The Great Midwestern Titty Spreader.
(One guy is such a wuss that he let a mere conjunction push him aside.
“But,” he whiningly injects, “it begin with one of those harsh consonant sounds.”)
 

Says one man: “The nice thing about not knowing today’s date is that
you also don’t know tomorrow’s.”
 

To ever get-to-the-bottom-of-things you must both slow down and speed up.
 

A couple of lions were lounging in the grass and one said:
“The giraffe is truly a special species,” to which the second responded:
    “But not as special as man,” which made the first lion laugh so hard,
      milk came out his nose.
 

One man collects The Greatest Hits CDS of every artist in the world for whom
such is released whether he likes their music or not, or has even heard of them:
“Well hey  --  it is their Greatest Hits!”
 

Said a father to a son:
“How many times am I going to have to remind you:
If you don’t push ideas around, they’ll push you around!?”
    “My best guess would be maybe, forty thousand times.”
 

When nothing good is on tv, one guy watches his own mind,
(“Which is always showing something quite as inane as any of the channels.”)
 

When the certain few hear someone who knows describe how things are,
they instantly feel: “I knew that!”
(What is to be learned from that defies words........well, would take longer to detail
than there is this left in this universe.)
 

When Life has nothing to compare something to, it will refrain from trying.
    (“You’d think that after these thousands of years of having it as an example,
        men would have learned a trick or two from Life.”)
 

One fellow is so harsh that he will not even allow sickness to cause additional stupidity in him (he will however, tolerate the reverse).
 

One kid named his imaginary friend: “Don’t Have A Fit Seymour,”
(which turned out to be him).
 

It was today confirmed that the eighty-thousand volume collection of ancient writings known as The Pre-Tibetan Sacred Auskanashii Records were all written by
a man in Detroit.
 
 

A father said to a son:
“What is so very elusive and tricky about this whole deal I some times call:
trying-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-things is that what you seek is in your own mind,
but that description strikes the mind as patent foolishness, for it says:
‘If what I wanted to know was already in my mind then I would know it. Duh! --
and obviously it is not there, as evidenced by the fact that I am looking for it.
Double Duh!’  but I tell you my boy  –  it is there and nowhere else.
I understand that everyone must commence this extraordinary adventure from another position, that of trying to glean what you seek from others, through books or personal teaching (I did), but the sooner you begin to keep as a parallel awareness, what I tell you as unconditional fact from my own lifetime of dedicated experience,
that in the end, the thing, the key, the one fact that answers all questions,
clears all confusions, and settles all concerns will suddenly come to you from your
own mind, and at that moment only will you fully recognize the validity of that fact.

So  –  as frustrating as it may seem now, remember who it is telling you this:
someone seeking no advantage or control over you, and only offering what assistance is possible in your struggle; try to constantly just be aware of my words:
‘What you seek is in your own mind – look there – look there – look there,’
and do it with no agenda other than to investigate the possibility that indeed,
what you seek is there.”                                      He then poured them both some more coffee.