Quote funny people to appear funny;
  quote clever people to appear clever;
    quote people smarter than you to look stupid.
 
 
 

As he waited for his rowboat to come in, a man gazed across the water and reflected:
“What is the worst possible sound I could ever hear:
   My own blood dripping from my veins?
    An economist talking about economics?
     A man talking about his self?
      An economist talking about his self?     No! --  it’s got to be:
       ANY man talking about his self.
                    (I notice I left out: me talking about myself.)”
 
 
 

Says a chap:
“I once thought that the funniest thing I’d ever heard was that mobile homes attract tornadoes, until it hit me that an even funnier version of the idea would concern the same relationship between consciousness & the thoughts that naturally appear in it.”
 
 
 

One man was asked:
“Are you serious about anything you say?”
    “Except about me.”
(Then for additional laughs he shouted: “Okay  –  who said that?”)
 
 
 

One man considered:
“Perhaps the most important thing to remember is: ‘Never let on.’”
 
 
 

Today’s Health Tip.
Only one thing will block all disease.
Today’s Dense Tip.
Only one type of person doesn’t know what it is.
 
 
 

City Life Suggestion.
When in doubt  –   talk.
(Even when not  –   still.)
 
 
 

One guy’s latest proverb creation:
“In a mortuary  --  choose a table near an embalmer.”
(He says it’s a work in progress.)
 
 
 

Conversation.
“If you try really hard you can always believe that you probably hear something
rustling about just outside your window at night.”
    “But why would you do that?”
“I'm sure I don’t know  –  but people do.”
 
 
 

Two point six percent of the world’s population say they are actively interested in
the idea of waking-up, and less than one percent of them have any idea
what they’re talking about.
(It has also been determined that one out of every eight people in the United States has written a screen treatment about a Mafia family.  The metaphysical significance of this has yet to be cemented.)
 
 
 

Games.
Here is the explanation one man’s consciousness offered for his lack of interest
in playing Super Trivia: “I AM it.”
 
 
 

Okay, the epigramer mentioned earlier has another original to present:
“A man should live if only to get even.”
(What d’ya think? --  should he give up his present job?)
 
 
 

Games II.
One guy says that the second prize is getting to meet him,
and the first prize is .....(well, bet you can guess the rest).
 
 
 

A man pondered: “Why are only those who write sad prose and bleak poetry
thought by normal men to have a soul?”
 
 
 

An uncle told a fephnew: “If you don’t privately find yourself to be overwhelming,
you still haven’t found your real self.”
 
 
 

Aestheticism In The City.
Art that soothes comes from people who like to be soothed,
and art that shocks comes from people who are pissed that they like to be soothed.
 
 
 

A fellow in city park offered a pigeon this shelled comment:
“Being of ordinary consciousness is like being forced to dance with any of the
six billion on the planet, or with anything they may happen to say.”
 
 
 

One man considered:
“Perhaps the most important thing to remember is: ‘Never let on.’”
     “To anyone?”
“To anyone.”
 
 
 

How Mind Works.
On his application to city college, one man sought advance standing in pursuit of
a degree in Small Animal Husbandry, based on him having once been
a small husband.
 
 
 

Travel News.
The closer the parisian gets to istanbul the slower run his hormones,
and the quicker his neurons.
(And while this makes no medical sense, the price of grapes continues to climb.)
 
 
 

Dialogue.
“There are only two types of talk: that which conveys useful information about
the material world, and bullshit.”
    “But how ‘bout  –  you know?”
“Okay, three types: talk that conveys practical information about the material world, bullshit, and words that highlight what we’re now talking about concerning talk.”
    “Like an eagle carrying itself on its back as a parachute.”
“Like consciousness in a rolling mood singing: ‘Hey  --  you  –   I AM my cloud.’”
 
 
 

Guesses a guy on the outskirts of town:
“A man getting fifty million dollars to throw a ball, sing a song, or act in a movie
can’t be told that he’s not good at what he does;
neither can a man who, for free, knows what’s going on....
.....but for a different reason......so!  --  I’m not really sure why I said all this.”
 
 
 

One man offers this observation:
“The groups of people you normally see working together to wake-up
are like bands of baby seals reassuring one another that the fashion in winter coats
is about to undergo a dramatic change.
     Oh-h! –   I want a coat!”
 
 
 

Health Update.
No intangible ill is diagnosable   –   outside yourself.
 
 
 

After much exposure to a certain commonly expressed sentiment:
“Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean that you’re a man,”
a guy pondered: “So why doesn’t anyone note that just because you’re a human doesn’t mean that you’re human?”
 
 
 

So ruminated one chap:
“Perhaps the most important thing to remember is: ‘Never let on.’”
    “To anyone?”
“To anyone.”
    “Including yourself?”
“Oh my yes.”
 
 
 

And to wrap up the day,  the ole man said to the kid:
“Son, there ain’t nuthin’ from nobody worth hearin' if at its core, it ain't good natured.”