In what he says is a move to assist psychological research,
one man has announced that he is now prepared to step forward
and reveal publicly for the first time that his consciousness is the headwaters for
all mixed-messages.
 
 

The Attraction Factor.
People who ain’t got nobody will sing: “I ain’t got nobody”
so's to bring somebody to them,
and the unknowing will proclaim: “I know!”
and attract to them others who don’t know enough to recognize that they don’t either.
 
 

A man asked: “If I get there first, what do I win?”
  Another man asked: “If I get there still holding most of my stuff, what do I win?”
      And a third man asked: “If I get there and don’t recognize myself when I do,
      what do I  –   aw, never mind  --  it wouldn't matter after that.”
 
 

In what he says is a move to assist governmental intelligence,
one man has confessed that his consciousness is the world’s primary source of fundamentalist militant-stupidity.
 
 

The Ability Factor.
For those who can play music, there is nothing more enjoyable than playing music,
and for those who are ordinary, there’s nothing more agreeable than being ordinary.
 
 

To his self only, one man made the offer: “Receive a set of luggage free!
when you come in for a full make-over,” which at first tempted him  –
until he realized who it would be doing the make-over.
    (“Right!  –  like I’d go to Sidney Greenstreet for svelte lessons.”)
 
 

The Safety Factor.
Twenty three per cent fewer lives were lost on one man’s inner highway this year
than last: a trend that has held true for several decades now.
 
 

One guy’s favorite phrase is: “The stop-gap has finally been bridged.”
(Though he isn’t quite sure himself what it means.)
 
 

In city park (circa Speaker’s Corner) a declaimer this morning so declaimed:
“It is my conclusion that men are awaiting an entirely new religion: one that will roundly condemn their attachment to the intangible world their mind has created,”
and from the crowd that had gathered a voice shot back:
“And in this intangible world resides religion?”  –  a query that seemed to momentarily stun the speaker  –   but after a couple of seconds his face broke into a dazzling,
toothy smile as something far beyond the hand of irony seemed to touch some
secret spot in his head behind his face.
   Who but man?!  –   who but him and his consciousness can conjure up images of
   griffins: miraculous creatures who will attack and consume themselves.
      And unbeknownst to humans, consciousness once said:
      “Man!  –   if he didn’t exist  –   I’d have to invent him.”
 
 

The Cost Factor.
If you play hide-&-seek  --  it’s cheaper to be the hide.
 
 

One way to determine that your consciousness is still running on Normal
is that it talks as though there are things in life worse than death.
(It makes Snow White feel more alive and vital to worry about the Labor Party
getting back in power, and the carcinogenic threat posed by the polar ice cap.)
 
 

One spring day while strolling through a vineyard, a man stopped and pondered:
“Can you take an important-truth and make it sound silly?.......and can you
take something silly and make it sound like an important-truth?”
        (For some raisin he didn’t stick around for an answer.)
“Boy – if I let you sleep in my barn do you promise not to try to screw my daughter?”
    “Yes sir.”
“And how ‘about if I let you in my head  –  you still swear not to cause any trouble?”
And a chap passing by from the city presents a question:
“Why exactly didn’t consciousness ever put together a comedy team? –
it clearly has the necessary comedic talent itself and certainly sufficient intelligence
to select a suitable straight man – I don’t get it – what’s the problem?.....OH! -- I get it!    That sneaky devil!  –   and right before our very eyes! (Or should I say: right behind them.)”
 
 

The Judiciary Factor.
Consciousness is the only court from which there is no appeal.
    “How about one in a land controlled by a despot?”
And the distinction you believe you are drawing is what precisely?
 
 

Startling Economic Discovery!
It’s cheaper to be well than ill.
 
 

Noted a city dweller to a visitor: “In man's intangible world,
it's sometimes tricky to know what you're doing even if you know what you're doing.  (Just imagine how it is the rest of the time!)”                (Note: The out-of-towner didn't want to.)
 
 

One day while day dreaming about toys, a man noted that in his life
he’d encountered those whose advertising ranged from: “Assembly Required,”
to: “Some Assembly Required,” all the way to: “No Assembly Required,”
then glanced at his mind and puzzled as to where it fell in this spread.
 
 

Right before bed every evening, one man stands before a mirror,
and while pretending to review the day, he’ll say:
“And just think what we could accomplish with adequate funding.”