A father said to a son:
“Consider as per my expedient model: Men are not in truth individually conscious
in that what passes through their minds, they do not personally plan or decide,
they indeed do not know what they are going to think next,
so on that basis, here is today’s proposition:
Talking acts as a substitute for consciousness and actual thinking  –
isn’t that something: talk: the manifestation of consciousness
operates to cover up the lack of consciousness.

The Fact: As long as you talk about a particular something,
you don’t have to actually think about it,
and as long as you let consciousness run on automatic,
talking incessantly in your head, it does not run the risk of being in a setting
so still and quiet that it might come face to face with its condition.
  Could it be more scrumptious!?  –   like a rifle with no interest in the matter,
  that shoots itself to show its professed support for gun control.
     Make enough noise and even the imbeciles will forget they’re in the nut house.”
 
 
 

Soon after the atmosphere had cooled,
  the seas had subsided,
    the land masses had formed,
      life had arisen and consciousness appeared in one of its creatures,
        the dense came together and quickly decided:
          “We have got to organize  –  so as to keep ourselves from being duped.”
Planetary Quiz: If you put one over on a herd  –   how can an individual cow tell?
Should we expect the cells to be more insightful than the creature they compose?
Well  –   why not!?
Consider it carefully and see if such a conclusion is not from one valid view, warranted.
    (“Yeah-h-h, but most individual sheep don’t really want to know any more about
        what’s in store for the flock than the flock as a whole knows.”
“Which constructively is zilch.”
    “Yeah-h-h, but still.....”)
 
 
 

The Power Of (Human) Thought (Specifically On Humans).
A man in the Terminal Ward said:
“Knowing that you’re dying is a pain in the ass.”
And someone asked: “Worse than dying itself?”
“So far,” he replied.
(I guess the headline to this story was unnecessary, huh?!)
 
 
 

One man’s dog nicknamed him: Potential Ramifications.
  (“For reasons we can only attempt  to imagine, huh?!”)
 
 
 

Trying to point out anything about man’s second reality to an ordinary person
(who by definition spends their life of consciousness therein)
is like attempting to play tiddlywinks with a cup going by on a rocket.
 
 
 

One chap says his dream is to open The Example Store  –
“And be the city’s premier purveyor of examples.”
 
 
 

A father’s counsel:
“Son, it’s not what you do, but the quality of your doing it.”
 
 
 

One man named his consciousness, Floyd
(he says his particular selection wasn’t significant,
that the important thing was just to get on a friendly, first-name-basis).
 
 
 

The maintenance man who had worked in the building for many years,
overseeing problems from the basement to the penthouse,
says that the only thing about it all that can still cause him to stop and go blank
for a second, is the lack of overt communication between the lower floors & the top.
(As we were leaving, his wife whispered: “If you live around here long enough  –   you’ll die.”
And as we were getting back on the bus, the tour guide said:
“Whole religions have been started on less  –   a LOT less.”)
 
 
 

The ordinary stand on the shoulders of the past  –   a rebel, on his own.
And upon hearing this, a routine mind responded: “That is impossible,”
and a rebel, upon hearing this response, ignored it.
 
 
 

As the children would leave the house each morning,
the mother would slap them each heartily on the back and exhort:
“Remember: Tight muscles  –   loose mind.”
 
 
 

The Important People on one planet held down and tortured The Silly Man, insisting: “Admit that there is at least one other thing besides death that is serious!”
And finally he said: “Okay! –   all right: talking about death.”
Which, after a few seconds, seemed to satisfy them and they let him go.
(But what do important-people know  –   right?!)
 
 
 

One guy says: “I’s goin’ along pretty good      –       ‘til I got to thinkin’ about it.”
 
 
 

Proclaimed the speaker in the park:
“They are imprisoned who think they are,
(as are those who think they’re not).
You want justice?  –   THERE’S your justice.
Not so pretty is it!   How do you like it now!?”
(And the squirrels scurried for their psychological lives.)
 
 
 

The city offered this observation:
“A man with a bad and rebellious attitude can, with just a minimum of help from me, develop, what is from my view, a perfectly acceptable and useful attitude
(that is: one which will serve my needs quite nicely).
And truth-to-tell: none of these humans and I are all that different to begin with  –
but don’t tell them that; some of them (like the ones with nasty dispositions)
so want to believe otherwise.     Shhh.”
    (“Like the ocean gets all torqued out over a rogue wave  –  yeah, right.”)
This email just in:
“Dear Sir: Why do you present certain items as being: news-stories
which on their face are irrational and impossible!
This is not news  –   I don’t know what the hell this is.
(P.S. Please continue it.)
Yours (On The Surface Upset),” etc.
 
 

A supervisor is a guy who tells you why he can't help you.

The North Pole is not where people think it is
(and the National Geographic Society knows all about this, but is staying mum).

There are species of birds who fly upside down when no one is watching.

A Dane in his cups scoffs at personal humiliation.

They don't actually have to force elephants to work in the circus  --
they would do it anyway just for the free travel.

Professional economists don't know shit about anything.

If you make fun of your post man he'll piss all over your letters.

People with nice wardrobes are hiding something.

The government doesn't really care whether you pay taxes or not.

Orientals purposefully cause their eyes to be slanty just to make foreigners uneasy.

Men originally had thirteen toes  --  until they found that ten would do.

No one really enjoys sports.

Mail order companies don't actually have most of the stuff you see in their catalog.

People who want to be noticed should be ignored.

The radiation danger from tv sets can be minimized if you
wear your underwear upside down.

Slick male foreigners talk funny to deliberately fascinate older women who
don't know any better.

People never knew that clothes got dirty until aggressive detergent manufacturers
pulled the old hard-sell-switcheroonie on them.

A Swiss bank secretly owns the Atlantic Ocean.

Talented people are only attempting to compensate.

Cannibalism died out because of pressure from the Diner's Club.

Super-sonic jets don't go any faster than anything else.

Large handsome men with athletic figures are all gay.

An earthquake that runs east to west will make your stock split and liver divide.

Dogs could speak if they wanted to.

The further a person is from a problem the more philosophical he will be about it.

Everything you see in the movies actually happened.

There is a tribe in Boombasa who cut off their penises every October
for decorative purposes.

You can't fool a fat man.

If you hide in dark corners and suddenly leap out at your children,
it will instill in them love and respect for the law.

The French only wear mustaches in an attempt to keep people from catching on.

When a camel is about to die he removes his hump.

Magic tricks are just that  --  fuckin' tricks.

Most requests for help and for answers can be managed nicely without either help
or answers; the requests are really about something much less specific.

Your average Norwegian brown rat will never say die.

If you stand on the top rung of a ladder and jump up and down,
a lot of people won't know what you're up to.

The holes in doughnuts don't really make them taste better  --
bakeries just put them there to make them look more expensive.

If the ballet was actually worth anything the Russians wouldn't like it so much.

Most personality disorders have no cause.

Whether or not it goes up  --  it's going to come down.

Terminal illness will take a load off your mind.