A man said to his cat:
“You don’t know what being disturbed is until you know what being really conscious is and then go for days without being so  --  then suddenly realize you haven't been:
now that  will give you the full operating definition of what being-disturbed  is.”
(Which may be more than any feline wants to know (or any normal human for that matter.)
 
 

Scariness On The Hoof.
Being aware of what's going on can be worse for a few than not.
 
 

At the big, Last Days Of Summer city picnic, the mayor got on stage and led
the citizens in a quiz game:
“What is it that actually holds civilization together?”
And people began to yell out such responses as:
“Government!”  “Commerce!”  “Religion!”  and many others, but all the while
His Honor shook his head No, then finally raised his hands for silence,
and gave the answer he had in mind: “Seriousness!  (and more specifically):
Seriousness about matters of no physical concern.”
(Then someone tapped another keg of Bittersweet.                    [Only in the city.])
 
 

Ad: “Forget Improving Your Golf Swing: Make Your Friends Look Bad By
Acting Like Them.  Send $29.95 To: My Natural Consciousness, Alemeata, CA.”
 
 

Men who feel a sense-of-duty that extends beyond their own skin and kin
are canned hams.
 
 

In Re Fame (And Then Some).
Even Napoleon had to blow his nose (not that it ultimately did him any good).
 
 

Much of what’s true and important on Tuesday is dead meat by the weekend.
Fact: The reason men conceived of calendars is not the reason they now give.
 
 

One guy refers to all  of his positions as: fall-back-positions.
 
 

Definition found in the road of the: Nervous-system-rebellion:
The most fun you can have with your head still on.
 
 

Simple men have simple problems   –  which unwittingly is entirely appropriate  –
vis a vis the true nature of problems they believe they have.
(Internal Memo:
“Okay gang  –   let’s have a big cheer for  –  Justice!”
     “Let’s don’t.”)
Those dressed as okra are irresistibly courted by the corn lobby, cooing:
“Come closer my little one: the destiny of transcendent succotash calls.”
 
 

In the city (if you know the trick)
you can be temporarily famous for no particular reason.
(“Hey,” said a stock boy, “I know that one: you just switch the labels on the cans.”
    Or perhaps he is a shop lifter?!)
 
 

In his sick bed, after having read yet another one of its types, a man said to himself:
“It’s easy to use knowing-of-your-ultimate-death as a metaphorical stimulation
to your efforts to awaken  –  IF you’re not yourself actually dying  –
if you are: it’s a whole other story.”
(And his attending nurse wondered: “Why?”)
 
 

The kid asked the ole man:
“How do gophers believe they can ever understand anything about life
outside a hole?”
    “They don’t  –   that’s why they’re gophers and not men.”

            The boy's uncle later had this to say:
            “Does anyone fully appreciate the fact that any cow or sheep who wants to
              is allowed to sing, just as passionately as it cares to: ‘Don't Fence Me In.’
                   My gawd! --  is it a beautiful thing or what!?”
 
 

In some places if you’re not scared sometimes  –   you’re not paying attention.
 
 

“Hey!” shouted Life, “I’m not simply an experiment!”
    “Oh yeah!” replied the Universe, “Don’t be too sure.”
(Transcosmic Footnote: Doubt is not required equally in all areas.)
 
 

Apropos Surely Of Nothing.............(Important).
Sex is to romance as silence is to yammer.
 
 

A man with a pea brain writes Dr. Exacto:
“Dear Doctor: How can you tell if you have a pea brain?  Yours,” etc.
(Do situations and the particular questions they spawn come any better than this?!)
 
 

There's quite a difference between dying and knowing-that-you're-dying and only a dying man knows what it is.
 
 

What’s so fascinating about IT is also what’s so annoying about it: its simplicity.
 
 

Travel Pointer.
If the ship is sinking  --  there’s no further need to tip your steward.
 
 

Intra Family Private Confab.
“Son, once you’ve been tabbed: Sticky-hand-luke  –  the case is closed.”
 
 

Technical Update.
In man’s second reality: un doctored data is dull data.
Thus are all attempts at so-called: Scientific-study of such matters as religion, art, language and human beliefs as popular as eunuchs at an orgy.
    (“Well!  –   I may BE impotent  –   but at least I’m faithful to me!”)

 
 
 
 
 
 

JAN'S DAILY FRESH NEWS