Just as a real deal man can tell what is being written by the sound of the keyboard,
so too does he know what is being thought simply by knowing that
the thinker is a normal person.
It never rains in indiana but the flow is hoosierfied.
    “So! –  being asleep (as some call it) is trying to get milk from a corn stalk?!”
More precisely: talking as though it is possible.
 
 

One man upon hearing for the first time the truism:
“A moment of insight is sometimes worth a lifetime of experience”
was so overcome with glee: first by the appearance of the word “sometimes,”
then by the inclusion of “experience,”
that he was subsequently unable to ever again hear either with a straight face.
 
 

Looking surprised, a chap said: “I didn't expect this would end with me dying.”
 
 

Recently discovered: The World’s Most Useless Sentence:

In the struggle between the two ideas: Genes are our destiny, and:
Nurturing is our destiny  –   put your money on destiny.
 
 

Surveying our region of the universe, one local force said to another:
“Why do humans keep complaining about never being completely satisfied mentally –   what the hell do they think the mind is about, anyway!”
(And the second force could only shake its head in bemusement.
    “Pa pa: when I grow up can I do my head like that?”)
 
 

Thinking: The Nuts & Bolts Of It.
Unless you do something quite extraordinary about the situation,
you will think whatever life wants you to think (and truth is, it’s even worse than that): you will have thoughts automatically appearing in your head which you will accept as, “your thinking,” which are there due to life’s spreading them impersonally
throughout the race of man.
What ordinary people take to be the most private and individualistic thing about them, (their thoughts) is no more than random raindrops falling on a herd of cattle.
    (“Is that supposed to make me feel bad, or shake me into some fresh realization?
       Ah, don’t bother responding: I really don’t want to hear it.”)
If life wanted the situation different it would issue umbrellas to cows.
    “Pa pa: is that what waking-up is all about?”
According to legend on one world: there was once a group dedicated to
the activity reported on in these daily missives who called their version thereof:
“Coming In Out Of The Rain  –   The Ridiculous Rain.”
 
 

Every time he heard the term: “the known universe”  one guy would think:
“Who cares about that part!?”
 
 

Looking embarrassed he said: “I didn’t expect this would end with me dying.”
 
 

There was once a bat who lived by mechanical radar;
a man captured him and ate him (just the upper part).
    “Do you mean the man ate the upper part of the bat  –
     or the upper part of the man ate the bat?”
Precisely!
 
 

In a discussion concerning: When enough is enough,
and: When a man may have gone too far, a father said to a son:
“Even the gods dread ridicule,” and after a ponder or two the lad asked:
    “Do you mean that the gods dread receiving ridicule,
      or that they are hesitant to hand it out?” and the elder replied:
“You may sadly turn out to be human after all.”
 
 

This e-mail in from a reader:
“You once wrote that: ‘Now is not forever,’  and having an important meeting schedule for the seventeenth, I need to know: then when is it?
Sincerely,” etc.
 
 

Looking disappointed he said: “I didn’t expect this would end with me dying.”
 
 

Seriousness: The Screws & Nails Of It.
Nothing in life is serious  –  unless: it happens to you personally  –
or you think about it  --  and even then, it’s not really  –
not if your life has been dedicated to getting to the bottom of things.
 
 

“Dear Dr. Exacto: Should not knowing some times whether you’re coming or going,
  keep you from  –  coming and going?”
 
 

How To Spot The Elusive Zubricon.
When you see it you think (1): “How right!”
and (2): “How unlikely I would have ever thought  of it had I not seen it for myself.”
 
 

The visiting preacher shouted to the crowd: “What is worse than greed?”
and they shouted back: “Inattentiveness!”  --  which took him by surprise;
then he cried: “What is worse than envy?” and they cried back: “Inattentiveness!” which further startled him: then after a moment he bellowed:
“What is worse than pride?” and they bellowed back: “Inattentiveness!”
so he tried again: “What is even worse than sin itself?” and again they shouted back: “Inattentiveness!” which finally drove him to whisper to his assistant:
“Where the hell are we anyway?”
Not even local gods are prepared to have the covers flung back while they're
comfy in bed.
 
 

Everyone who hears that there is a Great Secret is fascinated –
and loves the idea that someone somewhere knows what it is – even if it is not them!
(Either that or they despise the idea!)
 
 

Several times a decade the ole man and the kid would play a quick verbal game
they both enjoyed, wherein the younger would say to the elder:
"Exactly who are you?" and he'd reply: "You in reverse."
 
 

Fashion News.
One chap always sports a coordinated outfit: his consciousness and his thoughts.
Question: Why don’t nervous-system-rebels come in out of the rain?
‘Cause they’d shrink.
    (“You must be aware that answer is the exact opposite of what one would expect,
       so I must assume there is some nefarious purpose for it?
        [Am I getting better at this?”])
 
 

Looking now quite angry he said: “I didn’t expect it would end with me dying!  –
                                                             not literally!”
 
 

He told the the king’s sheriff that he “didn’t remember”
regarding the matter they were investigating –
they didn’t believe him  –  but it was true  –
he could no longer remember anything about anything
that interested the likes of them (the ordinary).