April 27, 2003                                                                         © 2003: JAN COX
 
 
 
 

Waving his hairy hand and voice in the boulevard wind,
the street corner speaker blazoned:
“Those who have the truth  --  need nothing more!”
and a course in history muttered as it passed:
“That’s because all who have it are dead.”
Note: many otherwise decent folk have difficulty recognizing verbal symbolism
when it gets too close to reality, and some then ask: “So why let it GET that close?”
an inquiry made only by those whose nervous system will not permit them
to acknowledge reality’s exact location,
a fact that spurred a raven to remark:
“When I soar above Earth (apparently as opposed to man’s view)
I see only Earth beneath me.”    --    Poor bird!  --  see: that is what distinguishes man from dumb animals (that is: creatures whose brains produce no speech).
    “So how did the raven say that?”
Note: many otherwise decent folk have difficulty recognizing verbal symbolism when
it gets too close to......  “Yeah, yeah -- okay, I got it.”
(Notice: Starting today: delivery of sarcasm with fewer than three toppings
will not be made to the Humanities Department dorms.
[On one planet, only scientists are allowed to stick their own fingers in their eyes (‘course they’re the only ones there who have real eyes/I’s.])
 
 

Two kids were talking and one of them says:
“Here’s something weird: If nothing is as it seems,
then in the entire universe, only that one statement is valid.”
       “Yeah  --  except IT is a trope.”
“Jeeze!   ---    well that means that....”
      “Yeah.”
 
 

Only those without personally-realized taste can actually believe that:
there is no accounting for taste,
and a chap notes: “One nice feature of being a no-talent philistine is that
you can get a job as a Critic without any qualifications or need for training.”
In the kingdom of crap, the sounds you hear are always of disguised flushing.
 
 

Two kids were talking and first one says:
“Having a mind the size of a peanut like I do
sure makes it hard to concentrate enough to figure a lot of things out.”
      “Yeah, but I’ll bet that having a mind the size of New Jersey
        makes it hard to focus on just one thing at a time.”
“Yeah!..............I like that............let’s go with it.     Yeah!”
 
 

In one reality: some things change while you’re not looking,
and some other things change while you are looking  --  and, oh yeah:
it all happens while NO one is looking.
If you live on a cube  --  and turn the corner  -- there is time and thought;
time makes orbs go ‘round;
circuits make systems run;
man drives thoughts   --   thoughts appear to drive man.
    “But I don’t understand it!   --    but okay: it doesn’t understand me   --
     does that somehow, make-us-even?”
In one reality: some things change while you’re not looking, and....
     ”Alright already  --   I get it.”
 
 

Two kids were talking and one of them says:
“Here’s something else weird: while modern medicine has extended our life span,
and cured many previously fatal ills, it has also done something less laudable:
enabled doctors to tell a patient when he is undoubtedly dying;
without such mentally conveyable info, a man would experience no more apprehension over his impending death than do dumb (non consciousness) animals;
so: via the talents of the mind, men’s health has not only been greatly improved,
and the day of their death postponed, but also thereby has made that eventual day
now predictable, and thus able to be dreaded.”
(The second lad then wondered if this had any connection to discount coupons
always having an expiration date.
Men love to say that: “What goes up must come down,” with no acknowledgment made that without the comments of men, there would be no up.
[And a dog lying nearby, overhearing all of this mused:
“Yet another reason I’m glad I don’t have to be non silent.”])
 
 

One man serves up this query:
"If man contains: no artificial ingredients,
then how do you excuse the existence of his ordinary thinking --  and
his endless criticism thereof?!" (not a pretty question to ponder, what?!)

    Parrying the appliance salesman's lunge, the customer countered:
    “As long as I have a mind  --  I don't need a blender."

And another chap offers his: Inspirational Thought For The Day:
                                                             "Many are called,
                                                               but few are chosen,
                                                               much dough rolled,
                                                               but little bread rosen." 
                                                                                      (well he said it was inspirational.)
 

And now: All Human Institutions Thoroughly Explained:
                                                              All cows want a cowboy.
 
 

An uncle said to a nephew:
“Those who say they have, ‘issues-with-life' do not understand life;
ordinary men/minds only talk about things that interest them…”
      “Pardon the interruption Unc, but shouldn't that be:
      ‘only things about which they are uncertain'?!” --
“Good point: ordinary men only talk about things about which they are uncertain  --
a fact which lays plainly before you a questionable matter which
routine minds never acknowledge, nor find worthy of investigation:
if the mind only talks about things about which it is uncertain,
then where does it get off continually speaking on an endless array of subjects
in the most authoritarian tone possible?
If the brain is aware that it only thinks and talks of things about which it is uncertain (which it must be or else I would not be able to be standing here telling you about it),
and it being the most intelligent thing observable in the whole universe, how can it then talk constantly about things about which it knows it is uncertain, with the clear
intent of conveying the impression that it IS quite certain of what it is saying.
Weird, huh kid?!  --  so:
when a man (obviously troubled) repeats the popular expression
(which is collectively treated as insightful & significant) that he has: issues-with-life,  (read: unresolved complaints therewith)
he is unwittingly admitting his total uncertainty about everything purely mental
(all matters intangible, which includes a common man’s notion of a self).
Weird, huh?!”    --    and neater 'an a polished pistol.        BANG!”
Note: only a man who knows can shoot himself, not just with impunity,
but with profit  --  (the trick is: knowing precisely where to aim).
 
 

All of the non technical writings of man consist solely of ordinary people
telling what happened to them and what they thought about it;
the man who knows (should he write) would write about the fact that ordinary men write only about what happens to them and what they think about what happens to them;
nothing internally active --  only reactive;
no originality of thought  --  just a parasitic ride on the back of impersonal events.
 
 
 

No one knows what causes anything to happen  --  unless: physical force is involved.
 
 
 

One man operates on this basis:
from the time he gets out of bed until noon  --  life is serious;
from noon on  --  forget about it!
(He admits: "On some days this doesn’t work out as planned, but  -- what-the-hell! –
--  the day plays itself out anyway.”)
 
 

Another father and son confab:
“Pop, why do martial-art teachers (slash) spiritual-masters say that
they never teach a student EVERY move they know?”
     “Come on --  you know the answer to that.”
“Well, is it true?”
     “You’re embarrassing yourself.”
“Well, is it not true, do the teachers just say that in an attempt to keep their students always believing that they know more than they do?”
      “Have you no shame!”
And this email from a reader:
“If I could just be certain that what you say is actually as entertaining as I think it is,
then I could confidently enjoy it as much as I suspect I do,”
and he is on to something:
a quite tricky facet of ThisKindaThing is that:
if you take it too seriously  --   it becomes stagnant and meaningless,
but if you do not take it seriously in the necessary manner  --  it tends to become
so mentally disconcerting that most people’s brains will simply tune-it-out.
Drab weeds will take dandelions to be heroic;
simple minds easily believe confused ones to be: on-to-something;

Four words you will never hear from a man who knows: “We need to talk.”