February 18, 2003                                                                  © 2003: JAN COX
 
 
 
 
 

To help keep himself on his toes, every morning immediately upon awakening from
a full night’s sleep, one man would rush to a mirror, look at himself, and in a teasing, sing-song voice coo: “You don’t know what happened while you were gone!”
    A speaker in the city park declared: “Man is this universe’s only creature
who is concerned over its own behavior!” --  and from the crowd a voice shouted back:
“Is that your sarcastic opinion,  or a scientific observation?”
The local  --  rigid;
the universal  --  loose.
Amidst all the nicety of city life, one citizen posits:
“You can’t be both exact and fastidious.”
Only the man who knows can be precise and still fashionable,
a feat he accomplishes by going unseen.
Ordinarily: you’re the set up, and life the punch line,
(that’s why humor seems always weighted in favor of your circumstances  --
and also why the rebel laughs only in private).
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Two guys were playing verbal grab-ass, and first one says:
“What’s more pathetic than someone who’s not hip?”
      “Someone who’s not and tries to act like they are.”
“No, someone so totally un hip enough that they tell the non hip person
who’s trying to act like they are that they are not fooling anyone.”
      “Whew! --  you play a rough game, amigo.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The average mind wouldn’t recognize true originality if it saw it  --
which is why it never sees it.
A man went to the mayor of a city and asked:
“Which has more value: being a critic, or being more conscious?” --
and his honor replied by asking: “Which is more popular?”
If there was such a place as a more conscious city it would have street signs saying: “Do Not Go Any Faster Than Necessary Or Be Any Dumber.”
A, fully civilized-personality could be described as: sufficient rigidity.
In the restroom just outside the gates to Heaven someone  had written on a wall:
“It’s All  -- Sex, Drugs And Rock & Roll”
and when the angel in charge told god about it he shook his head and said:
“What kind of people are we getting here now?! --   they left out, cars & MTV.”
Meanwhile back on planet E.  amongst the citified is a popular hymn:
   There is music for the head,
    and music for the feet,
    and folks around here,
    just pray they don’t meet.
                                    (the partially civilized harbor such grotesque fears).
 
 
 
 
 

One man says: “Screw, kicking another man when he’s down!  --
kick yourself when you’re down,
and give yourself a lesson about letting yourself get in such a position.
Now that's worthwhile!”

Later he added a post script:
"See (for you non cartographers) here’s the quandary:
hormones make you do stupid things, but only neurons make you aware of it.

The speaker they’d paid to hear, appeared at the podium, and his remarks went thus:
“The background radiation noise in a rebel’s neural universe
is less than that of everyone else,
(or as my uncle used to say: 'What’s done is done, and what can be un done
is best left to the experts.' [his wife always looked at him peculiarly when he’d say that]).

The fancy-ass, complicated reality that takes up most people’s time & attention
only exists for men who are conscious and have thoughts;
that other cruder, more mundane reality exists for everyone. Sheeze!  --  what a bore.”   He paused for a few seconds, then said:
“Those last comments were my imitation of a man up to his frontal lobes in the standard background radiation noise left over in most men’s heads from the
big bang appearance OF consciousness in the human brain.

Unsigned photographs of my summer home at the lake will be available for purchase
in the lobby as you leave.
Thank you for your attention (what there was of it), good night,
and try to be quiet in your life  --  your personal, private inner life.”
(Several attendees [‘tis said] attempted to get their money back.)
Moral --  no, make that: Ad Hoc Scientific Finding:
the universe, as most men’s minds know it,
is a most confined, confusing, and oft times, unsatisfying place –
which is due to the unacknowledged fact that it IS their minds;
we speak here of course of the human universe  --   the one inside of man’s head,
not the other one which man is inside of,
which is of a totally different order than the former, and has not its noted
unpleasant characteristics  --  but which is constantly confused therewith  --
wherein lies the basis for men’s  perceptions of their universe being confusing;
(put another way): when your eyes are crossed you are not aware when a photograph you are looking at is double imaged  --  which is a fair description of
the mind’s ordinary situation in its view of its own, self-created inner universe;
the images it sees are ever so slightly out of focus, and such things as religion, psychology and philosophy being glasses the mind has created in an attempt to see the images more clearly  --
but spectacles constructed by those with faulty vision themselves are doomed to be,   well, you can reason that out for yourself.

Cripples design shoes fit only for deformed feet  --  it cannot be otherwise,
and minds without precise perception of the inner reality minds have created
can only construct visual aids which are inherently flawed;
the jaundiced eye produces only institutional-glasses to magnify the yellow light band, or as one man used to say:
“Once dead  --  forever dead  --  UNLESS you discover that by
shifting yourself  ever so slightly, one way or the other you are not dead after all.
Wow!  --  what a relief!  (assuming of course that you didn’t want to be really deceased).”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Fat fears fire  --  ignorance fears nothing.
(And by the by: including ignorance passing as knowledge --
and by the by: this includes all  knowledge of man’s other reality,
and by the by: that wraps up this segment.)
 
 

The same two dudes as before are still playing oral-rugby, and first one says:
“Okay try this: what’s more pathetic than someone who’s not enlightened?”
       “(I know I’ll hate myself later for doing this but): someone who’s not enlightened,
          but tries to make people believe they are.”
“Nice try, but not quite: anyone who will either fall for the non enlightened person’s act  or worst still: anyone who believes that they can tell the difference between
such an act and the real thing.”
        “Well.....it’s been an experience playing with you my friend,
          but I’m gonna have to stop now and go take a cold shower.             Later.”
 
 

And another man went to see Mr. Mystic and asked: “How can you tell if you are as awake as you can ever be?”
        “Hey --  did my ex wife put you up to this just to bug me?”