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November
13, 2002
©
2002: JAN COX
NEWS
FROM PLACES YOU WOULD NOT NORMALLY EXPECT
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One
man upon realizing that he had a mind thought: “What’ll I do with it?”
and
it said: “Why do anything with me?!”
and
he replied: “’Cause if I don’t -- just think what you'll do
to me.”
Fully
functioning humans are like double barreled shotguns,
with
but a single finger available.
- - -
A
peculiar trait characteristic of non nourishing food is its redundancy;
and
a distinct trait of ordinary minds is their slavish imitation of one another.
All
shotguns dream of sounding alike,
since
all normal hunters sense but a single bird aloft.
The certain man eternally hunts out of season.
- - -
Those
who believe mankind is in a crisis are themselves in a reasonable facsimile
of one
(as
regards their powers of comprehension).
The
certain man fires everything he has at once,
and
hopes for the inevitable
(see,
that’s the attitude that keeps his hunting season open
year
round).
- - -
On
one world you are not permitted to say that you are conscious unless you
can prove to yourself at that exact instant that you are aware of
your
consciousness.
….(A
chap in the back says that seems fair to him
--- how’d he get in here?!)
- - -
One
man had a puzzle –
a
puzzle with numerous pieces –
and
a curious thing about the puzzle was:
when
one of its pieces was present -- the others weren’t.
….(Well
-- at least it seemed so……….to him.)
The certain man scoffs at your puzzle --
(just as it looks at him and thinks: “How’d he get in here?”)
- - -
One
man proposes: “If we lived in a better
universe:
education
would serve to inflame the minds of the young,
and
enrage those of their elders -- (in an agreeable manner, of course).”
- - -
The great thing about mind-expanding-drugs and disciplines is how they so comfortably constrict the consumer's understanding of what originally motivated them to want their thinking stretched.
The
certain man ingests no funny-stuff that he did not
concoct.
- - -
After
long dreaming of such, one man left his world and went to another one,
and
as interesting as the trip was
when
he returned home he eventually ran face first into the fact of:
“What
good did it do him?”
Due
to such occurrences was created the idea of Secret Knowledge, whereby those
intrigued with such a notion could find same anywhere they decided they
had located something they did not understand....I mean, who’s to say otherwise,
after all, the knowledge itself is secret.
Corollary:
Holes that someone can poke in your knowledge
is
their knowledge.
......(Funny
how that works out.
“Do you see me laughing?!”)
- - -
One
man had toy soldiers who fought, fought and fought --everywhere he took
them;
then
one day, he entered the fray, for he (you see)
decided
it was time to reel in his attention.
Question:
what do toy soldiers, unruly dogs and kings with a populace who won’t listen
to them have in common?
(Alternative
Query: When the brain’s away
do the kidneys play?
And are men befuddled
when neurons huddle?)
- - -
No
one is as evangelical as a reformed drunk,
nor
none as annoying as the just recently-realized stupid.
Fact:
It is bad enough to instinctively be a dunce,
but
doubled by contrite confession
(see
-- the point is: admission of idiocy by natural idiots entertains
no one -- especially the idiot).
The certain man keeps his trap shut and thus is never even himself quite sure just how dumb he really is.
On
every planet in better universes, secrets kept are secrets neutered.
- - -
The
fungus most fatal to the few is redundancy:
the
treatment -- originality.
By
repetition are the majority calmed --
but
thereby is the certain man’s brain secretly inflamed.
Every
ill besetting the certain man is cured by creativity.
- - -
One
man had a reflecting pond
into
which he fell,
we
must assume that all is well,
since
no more from him
have
we heard.
J
How Mind Works: Part Reprise
(for those of you who missed it first time 'round, or else didn't like
it & tried to forget it):
A man who wrote &
spoke continually about this kind of thing was asked in an accusatory tone
how he kept coming up with new stuff day after day after day and he replied
that he got it all from a book some man wrote a few years back that no
one seems to know about ---
and this answer completely satisfied the questioner.
(Can you believe that some still insist that among
primates, chimps are the most intelligent!)
JAN'S
DAILY
FRESH
NEWS
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