Although there is no evidence indicative it be so,
if you are a person with that CertainHunger
there is an approach that can be most useful:
privately pretend that while life has the rest of mankind settled in that
general mental state from which you wish to extricate yourself,
it, for some reason, and without rancor has made you uncomfortable therewith,
and that what is going on with you wanting to get-to-the-bottom-of-things
is a game life is playing just with you individually:
it trying to keep you in man’s routine state of mind  --  and you trying to resist it.
 

Forget about organized groups professing the same goal as yours;
assume that life simply is not sufficiently interested in any of them individually
to play the game with the same intensity it does with you,
or they would not be huddled together trying to participate as a team;
DoingTheThing is an individual contest  --  like chess:  one on one,
and totally assume that life takes its game with you as its most important,
and interesting, and is the one to which it devotes its greatest attention.
And urgently: in this approach, do not think of life as being angry at you --
--  singling you out for punishment for some reason,
but rather picture life as a most congenial companion on the other side of
a chess board, one obviously superior to you,
if for no other reason that it invented the game and all its rules  --  but still:
if you have a real piece of that CertainMan in you,
you will readily take to seeing life’s playing of this game with you
as a thoroughly friendly affair.
 

You will miss any of the usefulness of this approach if you intertwine it with
notions of an anthropomorphic divinity; blind Nature,
or a subconscious mind in you  --
take it as cleanly as herein verbally presented:
life --  a living thing (the entirety of this universe, if you like)
a thing just as conscious as you are (and then some [we assume]),
has come up with a little game it appears to have, throughout the ages,
offered to play with an anomalous man it turns out now and then,
and that you are the main (if not only) present one,
and life does not force you to play, but rather, via the unusual wiring
of your particular brain, sets out before you the game board  --  smiles –
--  waves a hand toward the empty seat opposite it,
and with no ill will nor ulterior motives  --   invites you to play;
and a man truly with that CertainInterest cannot resist;
it was what he was born to do --  it was what he had been waiting for
the first twelve or seventeen years of his life (even without knowing what it was).
 

But assuming the correct personal position in the scene herein depicted
in no wise entails you having an adversarial attitude toward life –
if that is the way you feel  --  then whatever game you may think you are involved in
is but another irrelevant game of childish imagination;
in the game-of-doing-this being instantly indicated –
life is not trying to defeat you  --  what sort of challenge is that for life (none);
and life is not attempting to make you look like an idiot (no challenge there) –
the pragmatism of adopting this expedient attitude is in extracting from your activity the useless, and dangerous-in-its-distraction venom of
feeling that life is adversarial to you  --
that it wants you (if not all of humanity) to be in a state of mind during the day time
that closely resembles the one of night,
and to be forgetful, confused, uncertain of mind,
and caught in the crossfire of drive-by verbal shootings
carried on incessantly by the rest of humanity –
based on simplest observation, this is how life wants it for the rest of humanity,
which is why they are comfortable with it,
but life, for whatever reason
(perhaps it too seeks some recreational time with a compatible mental companion),
has not so made you, but in fact has turned you out primed-to,
and potentially interested-in playing the game of: trying-to-catch-on;
in the initial stages of the game: attempting first not to keep falling back into
your –man’s --  natural and ordinary state of mind, like you were all the time
before you were old enough to become aware of life’s invitation to play the game.
Life makes everyone else (safely assume: likely everyone else but you) take life as it is, but has permitted you some non standard mental leeway;
life has wired into you the neural potential to see, or at least, sense  --  suspect
something outside the generally enforced bourn of man,
and in thereby doing has made available to itself someone to play the game of
trying to get as free from life’s normal mental restrictions as may prove possible,
and with life being a thoroughly good natured, and friendly sport about it –
but constantly testing you  --  testing the depth of your interest in the game –
your resolve, and your latent, off-the-main-field intelligence and insight.
 

When you can see it --  comprehend it from this view,
life feels like a friend  --  a really special friend  --  a most personal friend,
solely on the basis of the somewhat “competitive” game you two privately play
("privately share” is actually more accurate),
for life making the game available to you, and giving you the innate wherewithal
to participate meaningfully therein,
in and of itself affords you the most important and interesting activity of
your entire existence.

And again: once you can find this position, it looks thus:
life is not actually against you in this game of trying-to-catch-on –
it is not really opposed to you doing it, or it would not have invited you to play;
once you are properly involved therein, life smiles like the archetypal,
kindly grandfather-of-all-grandfathers who unselfishly wants you to succeed in whatever you are undertaking.

Can’t say that life makes it easy  --   but it sure doesn’t string you along,
tantalizing and tormenting you in a game that is useless and ultimately impossible.
 

For that CertainMan -- this is the only game there is, and in it,
couldn’t be a better friend, companion and “opponent”  --
life, in fact, for such a man --  is his only meaningful friend.

At this level of play: the game could not be more fun --  more relaxed;
without pressure to win  --  without fear there could be failure.