JAN'S
DAILY NEWS
Painting
The Bottom Of It Since 1895
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* * CONDEMNED
MAN
FURNISHES
HIS OWN FIRING SQUAD*
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July
24, 2002
©
2002:
JAN COX
CHALLENGE:
PART 3 (if
you want it to be)
_____________________________
Ordinary
men laud the ability to, deal-with-your-conditions --
while
a ManWithThatCertainHunger
ignores them;
routine
people measure intelligence, even sanity by
a
man’s ability to, deal-honestly-with-the-conditions-of-his-life
--
and
a ManOnTheQuest
laughs at them;
everyday
humans have concluded the preeminent influence upon their lives to be,
the-conditions-of-their-lives --
and
a ManWithTheAim
tramples
on them.
There
are of course two sets of conditions:
the
outside, physical ones, and the invisible, inner ones
which
mundane men see as either requiring two different modes of coping --
or
the same one for both (depending on the conditions
extant when they make such a judgment).
Normal
minds say that the physical conditions in which a man lives can
make
or break him, and should be beneficially changed ,when possible, and when
not, the man’s psychological interface with the conditions, altered:
quietly
and impersonally a man with TheDifferentGoal
in life
dryly ridicules this –
not
the people who support the idea, but life’s gambit of forcing them to do
so,
and
his own innate inclination to join them;
even
a man born with that anomalous neural potential, and thus
SpecialInterest
still
comes with (by and large) a routine brain,
and
thus has (even though to a lesser intensity)
the same reflexive mental proclivities as everyone else (and with
just the slightest relaxation, can easily be just as good as them),
so
what he privately scoffs at is not the natural human-condition,
but his own
ever
present potential to succumb thereto, and thereby totally (for the
time)
lose
his mental grip on the one thread that might lead him forever there from.
(And
as is especially true regarding the News of the last two days: if this
sounds like foolishness to you, you are correct -- forget about
it -- you must have read this far by accident.)
Conditions:
externally:
everybody experiences rainy, gloomy days,
and
internally: everyone experiences feelings of the blues;
ordinary
people spend much of their life and mental energy trying to learn how to,
deal-with-these-conditions
-- particularly to deal-with the way their inner self
wants
to deal-with-conditions (wanting to retrain an already unlicensed
physician);
externally
everybody experiences conditions wherein by other humans they were
lied
to, betrayed, cheated, assaulted & abused,
and
internally, they predictably suffer mental/emotional conditions of great
grief,
and
to ordinary men and minds, there is nothing funny about any of this –
it
is the core of the unique heartbreak that is: The
Human Condition.
A
curious man with that secret curious desire,
on
a cold, cloudy day, wakes up to the same cold, cloudy days as everyone
else;
on
mornings when his nervous system is in its Ratty
Mode,
he
awakens to find his nervous system in its Ratty
Mode,
same
as everyone does when their Ratty Mode
is in temporary preeminence;
both
the ordinary and the curious man awaken to find themselves in
dark,
dank external conditions,
and
they both awaken to find similar conditions in themselves;
both
conditions are (witnessed by their presence) natural
to the time and place;
ordinary
people if weak (by their peer's standards) lay there
and suffer,
but
if intelligent, they arise and try to deal-with-the-conditions –
a
man with that mutant synaptic potential does neither
(not that the
normal part of his brain is not capable of directing him to do so),
what
he does is difficult to describe, but he does more or less scoff at the
whole scene into which HE has
just awakened and discovered his SELF
,
and
right here, with these two capitalized words, is the reason this matter
is so
tricky
to explain,
for
people with only normal brains lack the sense of having a self
separate from
the
one that under ordinary inner conditions says it is them,
and
thus they follow its lead, e.g.
if
it says you need change your conditions -- you try to do so,
while
a man with the extra brain part has the extra part telling him:
“Ignore
what that other part is saying” which
is exactly what such a man does --
to
(it might be noted) his great delight and benefit.
This
is not a description of some mental pathology,
or,
multiple-personality-disorder -- it is in full fact
something
which men’s normal minds cannot comprehend;
it
is not simply being dissatisfied with what you are,
but
is a native disinclination to accept man’s natural state of being dissatisfied
(mentally).
Everyone
gets sick, injured and dies –
everyone
has dreams of acquiring things non physical –
everyone
is disappointed therein;
normal
brains & minds are wired to take all of the above personally &
seriously;
a
brain with the aforementioned non normal part has a different reaction
to
all
of the above -- “all-of-the-above” being in fact of actual,
but
conditions of the brain;
certainly
the reality behind the words, sickness, and injury are physical matters,
but
without the words, a man experiences no “sickness or injury,”
and
indeed, disappointment is as real an inner condition as an ordinary brain
can register, but that other anomalous part with which some men’s brains
are equipped finds the entire concept laughable (or perhaps, childish,
a better word).
A
person born with ThatUniqueItch,
and who learns how to scratch it operates something like this (n.b. either
exactly
like this, or nothing at all like this
[let’s
just pretend we are inside his head and this is what we hear as he awakens
in bed on any morning]):
“Yuk!
I feel like crap.....hey! -- and it even looks crappy outside;
what
day -- what a guy -- what a life and load of crap,”
(etc, along such lines),
and
he would not be ridiculing it, were it not there and apparently so --
in
the old normal part of his brain, which is the part in which he awoke,
and
returned to day time consciousness
(you
have not forgotten to stop reading this if it sounds insane to you?!);
“Boy
O boy! Another day of standing in the town square
gushing
emotional and mental blood from my poor
old, inner, personal wounds --
ohhhh, laudy miss scarlet --
what a mess I'm in --
what a mess I am!
--
and
what a load of dazzling crap it all be! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
me!”
Outside
its experiential context, the pragmatic humor of this is obviously lost,
but
the way it is exercised can be described (just ‘tween
us) in the quite jocular phrase: “Fuck
conditions! --
ALL conditions! Fuck-and-never-mind the conditions I seem in,
and especially fuck-the-ones that seem in me
--
the
way my routine brain tells me I feel ----
fuck ‘em all!”
As
crude as it may be, that is not a disingenuous telling of this matter;
regardless
of what words could be used, the neural energy that is behind the
obscure
activity about which these daily writings are entirely devoted
has
such an attitude toward the conditions in which men are born, live and
die,
and
about the conditions in them which run a lifetime, voice-over
meaningless
analysis of the external ones;
this
extraordinary brain part has a totally different take on life and on the
brain
of
which it is an extreme, and more or less, useless piece,
and
it’s view of the whole schemer is not un represented by the words:
“Fuck
conditions!” and
its ability is to live thereby, which is to say,
treat
all conditions, both external and internal, as irrelevant, passing happenstances,
which have no bearing whatsoever on its special interest, to wit:
becoming
totally hip to the normal brain’s game.
J
If you
want to you could think of the secret, silent, active approach to this
being that
you are fully
aware of conditions and of your would-be own condition,
and you treat
it all thus: "Yeah, yeah," and you --
MOVE ON:
the real grabber
being in the, move on
--
and only you
can find out what that is appropriate to you personally --
-- but
do keep in mind as you look, its name is
---- MOVE
ON.
* and your delusions will only be fully dispatched when you are their executioner.