JAN'S
DAILY NEWS
Getting
To The Bottom Of It Since 1898
************************************
MAN CHARGED
WITH
INDECENT
EXPOSURE:
PROMISES
TO ZIP UP HEAD NEXT TIME
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July
12, 2002
©
2002:
JAN COX
There
was once a fairyland which was ruled by two spirits:
one
ran the workers -- the other, the thinkers;
both
served proteins; one to muscles -- one to neurons;
one
food -- two outcomes
----------- how come?
Residency:
the inside of a man’s head who knows what is going on
would
look like a model home in which no one lives.
The
most dangerous phrase life has ever allowed into man’s mind is:
“There
is nothing that money cannot buy” –
when
initially heard, men will nod their heads in agreement, but when asked
directly if they believe this to be true, life then directs them all to
pause for a moment, look reflective, and say, “No”
but
how can a fact not be believed –
who
is made ridiculous via its rejection -- the fact, or the rejecter?
Embroidered
breeches and silk stockings get no laughs at
a
Louie XIV masquerade ball.
(“Yes, my motto has always been: Stick with your kind --
which I especially direct to my neurons,
[the only way to maintain a stabilized inanity, don’t you know]).”
Oceanography:
the inside of a man’s head who knows what is going on
would
look like the surface of a lake upon which the wind never blows.
There
was once a land where everything was cut & dried -- dull, in
other words;
then
a magician appeared who put mystery into their lives,
but
within a short while the mystery became old hat,
and
for fresh excitement the creatures there began trying to solve
the mystery
that
had been brought into their lives,
an
activity which took away the mystery and made life dull again
--
(and when a transient
shoe salesman pointed out what had happened to them,
the populous, as one replied: “Huh?”)
The
Psychological Diagnosis: the inside of a man’s head who knows what is going
on would appear somewhat disturbed but never actually ill.
There
was once a spot where sounds ruled supreme –
then
they were attacked by a virus -- one that turned them into
words –
with
the even worse side effect that they struck the ears of hearers as now
being of more consequence than they were before –
“impossible”
you say (since they were supreme to begin with),
yes,
but now that they were words, they could make sounds apparently mean whatever
they wanted them to mean, and in this case, they meant for themselves,
sounds
now words, to be taken über seriously -- and thus,
by Johnson! -- they were.
(“Yes, my rule has always been: If you want to be in charge --
live alone,
[if only my better synapses would ever understand this]).”
The
Landscape: the inside of a man’s head
who knows what is going on
would
look more like a barren plain than an interesting tourist attraction, or
public park.
On
one planet -- everyone is everyone else's hero
-- not really,
not
in the reality sense of admiring their physical strength, valor and beauty,
but
in every person envying what they imagine
other people are like internally;
being
impressed by the hair on someone's head is one thing, but being swooned
away by the nothingness inside of it is another sack of chickens entirely.
Only mirrors find anything interesting in other mirrors,
("Pa pa -- does that make the hero of all our family legends,
The Fortuitous Seven Years That Brought On Itself?")
La
Scala: the opera inside the head of
a man who knows what is going on
would
be an entertaining melody with words always in an unknown tongue.
The
hip do not act hip -- they are
hip -- same with those who know what is going on; they do not talk
like they do, nor try to appear that they do;
the
awake do not somehow act awake -- they simply are awake,
(what
good would it do to try to act awake anyway, since those not would not
get it.
The
Lab: the inside of a man’s head who
knows what is going on
is
like a place of constant testing which never publishes any findings.
(Their slogan [admittedly pinched] is: There
is nothing to discuss.)
The
Question:
Why
be a ball of agitated redundancy when you can be a cold slab of marble
--
(not only can
you see yourself in marble,
but you don't
have to break it like you do city made mirrors).
J