At any given time there are several thousand people alive on this planet who are earnestly interested in the idea of achieving a non standard state of 
more personally agreeable consciousness,
(Waking Up, becoming Enlightened), 
oft referred-to throughout the history of man,
and who, to varying intensities 
consider themselves actively involved in its pursuit.
There are numerous, long-established, religious & religious-like, publicly-accepted structures in which the members profess to the above, but which in practice prove to be their profession.
The few who always constitute the actual heartbeat of this unusual interest, even should they initially align themselves with some apparently pertinent organized activity, tend to ultimately go it alone, or almost alone.
(Being a good “joiner-upper” turns out not to be particularly compatible with achieving this 
peculiar goal.) 

Once they have constructively abandoned consistent participation-in & reliance-on normally available organized activities which claim to be dedicated to bringing about another condition-of-mind,
the core few are left with three possibilities to assist them in their undertaking: books, their own wits,
or the potential acquaintance with another individual who, thru personal experience, 
understands what this is about.
And same as with everything else in 
man’s mental reality --  this can get quite tricky;
for instance, books are no actual alternative, 
since their ideas are the same thing as the 
reader’s own wits,
and even the overt words of another living human can be made into no more than that 
if the seeker of the fresh state is not abnormally alert.

Of specific note today is how susceptible are these solitarily inclined few to leechlike feelings of 
self condemnation and disgust,
not of the routinely accepted psychological sort,
(not : “I guess I hate the way I look because of how my mother treated me,” but rather:
”What’s the purpose in these negative thoughts about me that are continually fed to my head,
and since it’s my mind  --   why can’t I stop them?”)
For a long time such an attitude appears to operate as the basis for a person’s struggle in this curious undertaking, but one’s view must eventually move elsewhere, or else even this extraordinary affair becomes but another 
form of meaningless self flagellation, 
(not without significance in ordinary lives, 
but meaningless in those of the few).
It is necessary first that a person gain a constant awareness that their mind, thoughts & consciousness  --  
--  the totality of what is supposed to be your individual, private, and completely personal inner world – 
is not under your own control, nor even apparently much subject to your own desires for it,
but a man must be cautious not to become so accustomed to this seemingly justifiable state of 
self irritation as to unwittingly allow it to become
an acceptable substitute for the one he originally sought.

Do not permit yourself to forever sit home alone,
incessantly berating yourself for being weak & asleep,
(a few decades of such should be sufficient for anyone),
but go to the next stage which will quickly arouse you from your sluggishness, and return to you, 
the indescribable excitement you first felt upon hearing about this extraordinary adventure.
The next stage is the non self critical examination of your self criticism --  and remember:
this is not undertaken on the basis that there is something peculiar to your individual life that 
makes you feel thus;
what you are looking for has nothing to do with 
“you” personally,
nor with your family, friends, community, culture, religion, nationality, wealth, or social status.
In corpore what you are finally looking into 
at the new level of trying-to-Awaken is: 
What is the root of me wanting to Awaken?
This can be cut up and talked about in a multitude of manners, but this is the basic question,
and from its impassionate, 
(as much as is humanly possible), investigation
will be revealed  --   what you seek.

Beating yourself metaphorically about the head indefinitely is not the way,
and you should not sit there presently, 
and believe that it is.
This grand escapade is not a bizarre experiment intended to torture the few, but indeed, as you initially,
and correctly felt when you first ran across the idea of, 
         waking-up-to-a–new-state-of-more-
         -enlightened-consciousness,
it is the most fun you can have while still on this planet, and the answer & solution to 
all questions & problems 
ever thought of by man.

The time is ripe for you to look past the repetitious
notices in your head of how asleep, stupid, 
and frustrated you are;
being so aware was progress for you twenty years ago, but it is now mere meaningless redundancy.
You are now not a sleeping, confused person;
you are a person with a mental awareness that says you are asleep and confused;
be happy --  
--  you succeeded in the first stage of the journey,
now it is time to go to stage two:
the joyfully expectant examination of 
why you went through the first stage.

The struggle to wake up & be enlightened 
is not connected in any way to any form of suffering, pain, or sadness;
those are of the ordinary mental realm.
No matter how serious you believe you  are about “waking up,”
(and ‘tis quite likely you are too “serious”, 
in the sense of being uselessly solemn),
start reminding yourself of this fact:
If you’re not being made happy by  what you're doing -- 
--  you’re not really doing it;
you may be doing something -- but you’re not doing IT.

That by now, should be everyone’s standard: 
If you are not minute-by-minute, thrilled, 
enthused, and constantly 
pleased-to-the-point-of-laughing-out-loud,
you’ve just momentarily slipped back into day dreaming, and all you need do is snap back to your indescribable investigation of:
What is, “being asleep” & “wanting to awaken”?

At the next level, the effort itself is so much fun
that the question of success gradually becomes almost irrelevant,
(believe it or not).

No man is happier, or more satisfied with himself than he who wants to Wake Up,
and who will let go of silly notions about the seriousness of doing so,
and will move on to the next stage of pondering why he is not presently happy and satisfied with himself
in his efforts to Wake Up?
 

The answer to everything is 
the questioning of the question.
 

Take a deep breath --
  shake your shoulders --
    loosen up & relax;
      the next stage stands right jam-up against your toes.

                            Go ahead --  take the step.     

                                             J