NOW THAT DR. JOHNSON IS OUT OF THE WAY,
                WE CAN GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
                         ______________
 
 
 

Words: Yapping dogs.

Other-people’s-words: Running the dogs.

Ideological disputes: The collective mind cracking its knuckles. 
                                    .

History: Rewinding a tube of toothpaste.

The past: A speck of spinach caught in false teeth.

The future: Wondering what happened to your teeth.

The present: The WHAT?!?

Wealth: Better burial clothes for the self-conscious corpse.

Reputation: Bulletproof glass over a forged painting.

Mind: A closet that doesn’t exist until something is hung in it.

A self-made intellectual: A plastic surgeon who hung himself.

Sarcasm: A sissy’s fist.

Cynicism: Throwing the piss out of your tent.

Love: What kiddy mystics talk about when they dress 
        up in adults’ clothes... ...instead of sex.

Advice: A clown with his hand on his back, pushing him on stage.
            .
Thinking: A form of self-hypnosis, but without a self.

Things-in-the-non-material-world: Shadows cast by
                                               the thing looking at them.

A guru: A hired clown.

The-end-of-the-world: The end of your nose.

Being-in-the-dark: A condition disliked by some –
                                but only when they think about it -- 
                                not while they’re there.

Hard times: The search for mental viagra.

Mistaken views: Views.

Revealed wisdom: Mistaken views.

Religious proselytizing: Time running backwards 
                               over a commode.

Mental preferences: Moths in Cinderella’s closet.

Emotions: Vibrations from earthquakes put to paper.

Intelligence: Emotions, diagrammed.

Power: What mind doesn’t see.

Staring: Substitute for consciousness.

Consciousness: That page cannot be accessed:
                          reboot, or check your connection.

Vanity: Stupidity.

Humility: Pretending not to be stupid.

Complaints: The skin of a blister.

Solutions: Cinderella’s sister.

Beliefs: Temporary knowledge.

Beliefs: Permanent knowledge.

Knowledge: “Call for Cinderella!”

Life: Fear of death.

Death: Fear of life.

Noise: Substitute for excitement.

Excitement: Substitute for knowing.

Knowing: There is no substitute for knowing,
             (but thanks for asking).

Sorrow: Fear of idiocy.

What-mind-will-never-grasp: That any complaint it has 
                          can be instantly solved if it will just 
                                        lay it here on the table.
 
 
 

…and all the horribleness in the entire universe jumped out from behind a bush to frighten a guy, 
and when he didn’t react, the horribleness demanded: 
“What’s wrong with you?!” and the guy replied: 
“You’re right --  I forgot to laugh.”
 

                                        J’s post happy Q’s .